Update from NC & Iowa - We are home

Greetings,

This is NOT how we wanted this to go. We wanted to beat the odds again by beating Stage 4 cancer that had spread throughout his entire body. But God has other plans for him.

If God grants a prayer, it's God's direction. If he denies a prayer, then it's God's protection.

Tom went into the ER last Saturday afternoon, he coulnd't breathe & he didn't feel good at all. That is when we were told the news that his lungs were shot. Even if everything was healed up, his lungs couldn't sustain his life anymore without coninous oxygen.

We spent all day Sunday trying to figure out how to get back to Iowa. Two of our Iowa peeps from our bible study group drove out to NC to bring us home. They were hoping they could scoop us up & bring us back immediately. Unfortunately, it wasn't that easy.

The staff at Atrium hospital in Charlotte were absolutely wonderful. They made sure that we were comfortable & all of our needs were met within their abilities.

Monday came with staff working to get us oxygen tanks to get home. One nurse by the name of Carmen told me to look into maybe getting an flight home. I did look into getting a medical flight home. For a helicopter to go from Palm Beach, FL to NC to Ames, IA was $25k. This was way out of range for us. We did find a few flights from Charlotte, NC to Des Moines, IA. We got the info needed for the special oxygen, his wheelchair needs at each airport & other things. I wrote it down & kept it for the next day. It was hard to sleep that night as we were excited to get home.

Tuesday morning came with much excitement. We were told that tanks were coming that day. Enough for us to make the road trip home. I also got a call from hospice services back in Iowa. With much fear & tripidation, I talked with them. An appointment was made for Friday for them to come to the house, talk with us, get signed up & get the things he needed to make him comfortable.

Finally, around 4:45 Tuesday afternoon the oxygen tanks arrive. 12 tanks & an air condensor. The Apria rep said each tank should last about 2 hours, our nurse said each tank would last an hour. She told us that there was some Apria office in Indiana & Illinois along our route. Fortunately, each tank average about 2.25 hours. Enough to get us home & then some. Tom slept pretty much non-stop all the way home.

We got home around 12:20 Wednesday afternoon. Yes, we drove it straight thru. We stopped twice for meals & every 2 to 2.5 hours to change out the tanks. Tom would also use this time to self-cath if necessary to keep him comfortable. He took one pain pill the entire ride home. We got him on the air condensor shortly after we got home so he wouldn't have to worry about running out of air. He slept a lot of the day. He tried to sleep in our upstairs bedroom & it was too much for him. He went downstairs during the night & crashed out on the couch.

Thursday morning started around 7 am when my alarm went off. I rolled over & saw that he moved during the night. I came downstairs & checked on him. Still sound asleep. Hospice called this morning to check to see if we made it home ok. I told them we had & that we just getting moving for the day. She asked if she could come over today instead of tomorrow. After some resistance, my husband wanted them to come in & get things rolling. We signed up & equipment was brought in. He has a hospital bed in the living room, we have a commode, he has a table that reaches over the bed & he also got a lift chair to help him get up & down in a chair. He also agreed to a DNR order. This hurts me terribly. But he told me the last 2 months have been torture for him & that hw was just hanging on for me. He told me he's had enough & that he is ready. I love him very much. So much, that I don't want him to suffer. I've prayed to God & said......"If you are going to heal him, please do so. If not, please take him so his pain will end." His energy level is about 25% of what it was a week ago when his first round of treatment was done & we were planning to head home. The hospice worker said to watch his energy level & his eating. A decline in either will tell us a lot. Tonight he slept in his hospital bed in the living room & I slept on the couch. I wanted to be nearby if he needed me.

Friday morning was a flurry of activity. His brother showed up today, the hospice worker showed up with more meds for him should he need them over the weekend. One he needed Friday afternoon to help with his nausea. A couple from our bible study group showed up today to help move some things out of the house & into the shop out back. I also visited a couple of funeral homes here in town to get the info & to start thinking about making arrangements before I had to make them under duress. We also visited a couple of cemetaries to decide which one to buy a plot in. We chose one near a state park south of town. He isn't going to be embalmed which means burial will have to be within 72 hours of his passing.

I'll continue to update until his passing. After that I'm going to take a break while I grieve & learn my new life.

Until next time,

Lori