Wednesday, May 3, 2023

Have you or your family been affected by Covid hospital protocols?

 Greetings from Iowa,


Early last year I did a couple of articles on how Covid affected me & our family.  


But now I'm asking - Have you or your family been affected by Covid protocols?  Did a family member get a Covid jab & is now injured or even worse - passed after getting it?


Were they hospitalized with Covid?  Put on a vent or given Remdesivir?  I need your story, I need your help.


I don't know all of the ins & outs yet but please email me with your contact info & your story.  I'll pass along it along to the person who will get in touch with you. 


The email address is


Hope to hear from you soon,



Saturday, November 26, 2022

I gave my all

 Greetings from Iowa,

As the death of my husband tears our family apart, the grief I feel from his loss is intensified even more.  He never would've wanted this.

Here is a poem for this occasion - 

I Gave My All

I gave my all from the day we met,

we had this connection & we used it quite often,

It became you , me & God against the world. 

I gave my all when you went to Cali,

I made sure your home & dog were taken care of, 

I worked hard to be the woman you needed.

I gave my all at our wedding, 

To be the bride you desired & proud of,

We began our simple lives that beautiful day.

I gave my all when you were gone trucking,

To take care of us & support us,

I worried for you safety daily.

I gave my all during the moves, 

I didn't understand why we moved to where we did,

But I did my best to make it a home.

I gave my all when you decided to take a break from our marriage,

I kept the home & prayed to God,

You came home to a wife who still loved you.

I gave my all when the awful diagnosis came,

We decided together on a course of treatment, 

Natural way yes, Chemo no. 

I gave my all during your treatment,

During the sleepless nights & sleep walking,

And patience when you got upset with yourself.

I gave my all when we were told your journey was done,

I stayed by your side & cried daily for you.

How will I live without you?

I gave my all as you started your final days,

the sponge baths, making arrangements, 

Tears are a form of I love you.

I gave my all when I saw you slipping away, 

No, this can't be true.  

God I beg you, take me, not him!

I gave my all as I saw you laying there. 

Straightening your flower, fixing your hair. 

You are ready for a wedding in the kingdom.

I gave my all as my heart breaks daily,

I loved you then, I love you still, 

Always & forever.

I gave my all to you. 

Until next time,


Monday, September 19, 2022

I keep waiting

                        I KEEP WAITING

It's been 23 weeks & I keep waiting,
Waiting for him to come walking thru the door,
Saying "Hi" in that sexy voice & give me a hug & a kiss.
Putting his work things away & begin his evening at home.

It's been 23 weeks & I keep waiting,
Waiting for him to come walking thru the door,
& asking what's for supper, I'm hungry!
I tell him & he says sounds good. 

It's been 23 weeks & I keep waiting, 
Waiting for him to come walking thru the door,
to tell me of his day & to ask me about my day.  
Lock & chain the doors to the world outside. 

It's been 23 weeks & I keep waiting,
Waiting for him to come walking thru the door,
To say how tired he is, to hear his tired sigh, 
And hear him sit heavily in his chair. 

It's been 23 weeks & I keep waiting,
Waiting for him to shower & put his pj's on,
To come to bed & lay there looking at each other, 
To lay there holding each other as we go to sleep.

It's been 23 weeks & I keep waiting,
Waiting for us to get together with family,
For the phone calls, texts & emails.
Waiting for what once was. 

It's been 23 weeks & I keep waiting,
Waiting for the forever love,
The love that we promised each other long ago,
Wondering what happened?

It's been 23 weeks & I keep waiting,
Wondering what happened, 
We beat the odds so many times,
Why not this time?

It's been 23 weeks & I keep waiting,
The first time was for life, 
The second time was for eternity,
That is my love for you.

It's been 23 weeks & I'm still waiting,
My love for you is eternal,
Always & forever,
Til we're together again.  

Composed by Lori

Wednesday, August 31, 2022

Go Fund Me page

Greetings from Iowa, I don't normally ask for money but it's been a rough year as you know. The company that I've been working for said on Monday that the company is 45 days away from bankruptcy. I'm hoping they can head it off & keep us workers on. It's remote work so it's very nice I can work at home when the snow & ice are blowing outside in the winter. Wellmark Blue Cross Blue Shield is denying about $50,000 in claims saying the procedures weren't medically necessary. (like the catheters to drain fluid off his lungs) I'm having to appeal these claims to the state level, I'm hoping with statements from his medical providers & my records of draining his lungs in the hotel room every night convinces they otherwise along with other procedures. They are even denying the claim for the oxygen tanks & equipment to get him home from NC so he could die with his family around him. I also have almost $6,600 in doctor bills from the clinic the doctors work for before the insurance kicked in. Here is the link to the gofundmepage - Helping Lori, incurred bills, loss of her husband. The money that doesn't go towards medical bills will go towards much needed repairs on our home. The roof is 25 years old, it needs siding & windows. Some of the windows are as old as the home. (1870) Our privacy fence needs some TLC as well. It was damaged last fall in a bad storm & he never felt good enough to repair it. I thank you in advance, Lori

Tuesday, May 24, 2022

Pfizer Documents

Greetings from a very chilly Iowa, You've heard about Pfizer having to release all their documents within a year instead of the 75 years like they wanted. Do you know where you can access them? I have that link for you. Check them out here at Del Bigtree's website. Anyone who still gets the shot after reading thru those documents is really in denial. Until next time, Lori

Wednesday, April 13, 2022

Update - He lost the battle, he is no longer in pain


At 11:55 pm Tuesday night, my best frined, lover & confidant of almost 36 years lost his short battle to cancer.

We had this connection from the beginning, that connection is gone & I'm lost.

Please keep our family in your prayers as we go thru this difficult time.

Thank you,


Friday, April 8, 2022

Update - from Home


It's been a busy week. But we are finishing on a positive note.

We started hospice last week. A bed, commode, bed table & lift chair were all delivered. Also any meds he might need to manage his symptoms were prescribed along with a DNR order signed by his primary.

Monday was a busy day with a nurse, the bereavement coordinator & a chaplain coming to the house. The nurse got his basic vitals & expectations for them & us. Mike the bereavement coordinator came & talked to us about the process & how we could reach out to him at any time. Kathryn the chaplain was a challenge & made us think about our beliefs. We were both emotionally drained after this day.

Tuesday morning the social workers came & talked to us. They talked about expectations & answered any questions we had. We had to resign the paperwork for the DNR because the doctor we had chosen hadn't seen him in years & didn't feel comfortable signing the DNR. So we had to go back to the doctor that missed his cancer a few times in order to get a DNR. We finished the day on a positive note. I tried to drain his left lung & only about 20-25 ml of fluid came out & it was clear! This is the color it's supposed to be not the amber color that had been drained from his lung since January 24th. Not the 1,000 plus ml we had been draining but a minimal amount. We started to think a bit optimisticallly.

Wednesday was emotional. I had to go to the funeral home & plan his funeral. We picked everything out that we could except the catering & what the service was going to include. I was able to get thru this without breaking down emotionally. I had to choke back my tears when we walked into the casket room. I chose a single casket spray with all the ribbons a family member should have - father, son, grandfather, uncle, brother, & husband. I was so glad when we were done so we could leave. I shed my tears when I got home as that was something that I didn't want to do but needed to do so that I wasn't doing it when I in emotional turmoil. I started him a Selenium protocol today. Dr. Chris Barr said in his book about Selenium from He takes 1200 mcg daily. We are not giving up, we're going to continue to fight this, just a different way.

Thursday the hospice nurse was here again. She changed out the dressing of his PICC line & answered any questions we had. She called in a refill of a prescription patch he has to help with nausea & vomiting. The clinic was supposed to have it called in by 5, they didn't. I tried to drain his left lung again tonight. I only got about 10 ml & once again it was clear. He was off his oxygen for a short time tonight. His oxygen saturation vascillated between 90 & 95, occasionally dipping below 90 but coming right back up again. And he felt good, he wasn't short of breath. He was even walking around the house without it & maintaining 90% plus saturation. Out in NC, off oxygen it was almost a consistent high 80s saturation. Out there he was consistenly short of breath in the hotel room & couldn't sleep at night because of this.

The early morning hours of Friday were rough. He woke me up early.....5:44 am asking me what time it was. I said.....early....he asked how early.....I said 5:44 am, go back to sleep. Less than an hour later he was asking for pain pills. I told him if the sun isn't shining yet....its early, don't ask for the time. He got a sponge bath this morning. He was able to lift his legs up on a chair to wash & dry them off. He did it automatically without thinking. I said wow.....look at you. He looked at me & then realized what he had done & got a big smile on his face. He said he didn't even think about what he was doing.....just doing what he had always done. He was able to walk out to his shop with his brother today. He hasn't been out there since before Thanksgiving. He had trouble getting up the back steps (but I do too since there isn't a handrail) but he made it up.

I told him tonight he has to continue fighting & not give up. We believe prayers are being answered & maybe even a miracle in the process.

Continue to pray for him & our family. We're not giving up.

Until next time,